Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize