I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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