Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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