is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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