so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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