Apparently you make a good broom.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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