My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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