I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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