we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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