He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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