I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize