I wish I could teleport
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize