I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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