Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize