Please, let me fuck your mom
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize