ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize