I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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