U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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