Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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