And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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