the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize