I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize