Sry I called you an 8
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize