Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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