so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize