Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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