oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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