Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize