I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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