it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize