if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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