like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize