If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
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Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
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Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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