his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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