I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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