If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
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I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
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If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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