you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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