i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
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the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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