he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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