it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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