So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
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I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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