don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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