the condom got lost in my hair
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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