I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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