my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
if only i could text you this smell
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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