why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm always down for nudity.
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