I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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