I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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