??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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