all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize